Two Hearts of Life and Suicide

Two Hearts of Life and Suicide
By Todd C. Stanley

And when you look out into the rain, can you see me there with every fallen drop like the cold tears on my pale cheeks? I've cried over you for too long, now my tears stream down my once warm face to the floor where they will dry and never be remembered by anyone else but you. Can you feel me close beside you when you sing those songs we sang together when we shared those memories? There's nothing beside me but the empty void that hangs this colorless dream into a world of distortion. If I tell you that your laughter is my lullaby, would you lay me to rest beside your lips that once curved so warm and gracefully? I'll hold out my hand and reach towards you just it the hopes that you will take hold of it and bring me up so I can be with you. When I see you again will you run to me and let me kiss you? Those nights we were together, we sat next to each other and the warm drift of the wind would blow through our fingers. Our hands were so close. Maybe someday when we meet again you'll let me hold you tight and never let me let you go and we could stay close forever. How do you see me when you see me smiling at you? I would hope that the birds sing for you and time stops for us just so we could stare at each other. Does your heart stop when you take a breath as our lips collide? Do you live for a moment as my touch grazes your soft flesh so tenderly? Do your eyes awake when I whisper in your ear that I love you? There tears lay still as my body relaxes to the dimmed sounds of our last memories together. My mind begins to unravel every last thought of you while I smile at the fact that I will see you again soon. Did you like the roses I got for you? They were the last to fallow you as you were put into the dark of the earth. I'm sorry I was the one who survived that night, I couldn't bring you back. As hard as I tried to fix your bleeding heart, I never realized that mine was fading just as fast. I can't forget those eyes staring lifeless up at mine. Those beautiful eyes that were once filled with so much life vanished so fast. Do you think God will forgive me for what I've done tonight? I hope you didn't cry when I pulled the trigger. The truth is, I found myself without a heart that last night after you left me bleeding. I can't handle this life knowing I can't be happy without you, please don't cry for me, I'll be with you soon. Let my eyes close as this blood stretches across the hard floor. When I open them again, I'll be with you and we will live again forever. Together like we were always meant to be.